I get up and I walk across the room
I get to the door - I've been there before
Wondering what I got up for
When all of a certain I remember
What I was going to say to you
Standing there watching my member
Hanging there squirting the loo

I'm really stoned
I'm really stoned
Permanently out my bone
I'm really stoned

I sit down on the phone I get the urge
To dump yesterday, flush it away
I hope the force is still with me
When sure enough the door flies off it's hinges
And there stands P.C. Bill Identikit
Saying "I've got trouble finding where I'm going
"Coz my backside is very badly lit
"Hello, hello, hello
"My bloody head no longer seems to fit
"Hello, hello, hello
"And you're under arrest...
...and...'ello?"

I'm really stoned
I'm really stoned
Permanently out my bone
I'm really stoned

So come on, let go
Let your feelings show
There's something inside you
The person beside you really needs to know
Come on, change your mind
You never know what you might find
Break out the rizlas
And roll up a place to unwind

Well you can bust me once
You can bust me twice
But you'd have to top me
To finally stop me from loading my dice

'Coz I'm really stoned
I'm really stoned
Permanently out my bone
I'm really stoned

(Joan bakewell) Ta