Stop pretending you're even having fun
You just stand there looking dumb
And bored with your thumb in your ass
You're better than that!

For once in your life before you retire
Be the leader of the choir
Set your pubic hair on fire
Just because you feel like it

Be that moron screaming in the crowd (HEY!)
This shit could never ever be too loud for me
So help us help you armpit fart
Cuz we're only getting started

Oh boy this is great
Don't hesitate
Grab your feces like an ape
And finally celebrate just because

Finally talk to a girl
Throw your dream journal in the urinal
Cuz with tap shoes and a girdle
Dreams really can come true
Be living proof!

Participate, it's the end of the wait
Show up late, masturbate
Tell your date you're in shape
Though you're not

Take off your shirt
Eat a fistful of dirt
Never learn
Get a sunburn
Cuz it looks good on you