I walked into the Nag's Head for to sustinate me belly,
There was a fit crack in the corner but I knew her cunt was smelly,
She smelt of rotting fish heads and old and crispy sick,
Said her name was Charlotte and she wanted suck me dick.

Oh, I thought now lad, times are hard, and it's nearly closing time,
I'll put a bag on her head, and a peg on me nose,
And I'll grummage through the slime...

Charlotte is the biggest slag in Macc,
She'll do anything to get you in the sack,
With her legs spread wide she opens up her crack,
Spends her life just lying on her back.

Well, we walked along, up Buxton Road,
And strolled along the cut,
She said "give us an inch and I'll take you a yard."
So I slammed her half a foot.
Got me hand up her skirt 'cos I'm a Macc Lad,
And I knew just what to do,
I got me hand inside, and me arm inside,
I lost it right up to me tattoo.

Oh, Charlotte is the biggest slag in Macc,
She'll do anything to get you in the sack,
Coffee, sex and johnny bags come free,
So crabs and herpes and VD.

Oh Charlotte.....

And we ended up at her place,
And I waded through the johnnies,
She put another notch in her bedstead, while I watched "The Two Ronnies".

Charlotte is the biggest slag in Macc,
She lies in wait and then she springs her trap,
She's always got to take the upper hand,
And you are what you drink, and I'm a bitter man.
Charlot