Have you ever seen an idealist with gray hairs on his head?
Or successful men who keep in touch with unsuccessful friends?
You only think you did
And I could've sworn I saw it too
But as it turns out
It was just a clever ad for cigarettes

Cause if it isn't making dollars
Then it isn't making sense
If you aren't a moving unit
Then you're not worth the expense
If you really want to make it
You had best remember this:
If it isn't penetration
Then it isn't worth a kiss

And we're so sorry sir, but you did not quite make the cut this time
And we'd appreciate it if you cleared your stuff all out by five
Don't take it personal
Everyone knows you did your best
If it makes it easier you should look at it from our perspective end

Cause if it isn't making dollars
Then it isn't making sense
If you aren't a moving unit
Then you're not worth the expense
If you really want to make it
You had best remember this:
If it isn't penetration
Then it isn't worth a ki